My Story

Hi I am Nathan 

It’s taken me years to understand that the churches I grew up in weren’t just loving communities — they were systems of power and control.

Raised in fundamentalist Evangelical Christianity, I often felt embraced by the community and even sensed the love of a higher power. Yet, woven into that love was a deep undercurrent of control — a system that used fear to maintain obedience. The same hands that offered belonging also enforced conformity. The message that “Jesus loves you” was quickly followed by threatening you with the fire of Hell.

Those contradictions created what I now recognize as trauma bonding — a cycle of devotion and fear that kept me emotionally dependent. The warmth felt like love, while the shame and anxiety built up inside me, eventually leading to panic attacks.

Over time, I saw that religious fundamentalism always protects itself at the expense of the individual. Every pastor — all men — preached values but never shared personal struggle. Vulnerability was replaced with authority; confession with control.

My family, burdened by unspoken pain, was encouraged to hide dysfunction to preserve the image of being “a respected Christian family.” The appearance of holiness mattered more than healing the generational patterns of trauma.

The fundamentalist system took advantage of my kind and compassionate heart. I gave my youth to serve as a religious fundamentalist missionary, shaping my thoughts, emotions, and behavior to maintain “God’s truth” — but its true goal was self-preservation. Eventually, I faced a choice: to deconstruct from both my family and religious systems to find myself — or stay and let my soul die.

Leaving the dogma burned my old life to the ground, but in the ashes, I began to uncover who I truly am.

After a long and transformative journey of healing from my own religious, emotional, and physical abuse, I am now a Level 2 Internal Family Systems (IFS) Practitioner. I’ve had the honor of helping hundreds of people find relief from trauma, anxiety, and depression — guiding them toward greater self-understanding, compassion, and healing.